Because many of Super Bowl XLVII’s television commercials are already viewable online, much of the anticipatory luster of the big game has dulled. The glitter has gone to patina faster than, say, Ray Lewis recovered from a torn triceps muscle. Ray, it has been revealed, had a little help from deer antler velvet spray, a substance that contains banned growth hormone IGF-1. As proffered in last week’s skewer, Mr. Lewis’ ethnicity will garner him a free pass. Reflexively, apologists and enablers in the press have queued up to inform us that given the NFL’s appeal process, a failed drug test, at this point, wouldn’t keep Ray out of the Big Game; so best not to administer it.
Ray’s supplier, it turns out, also provided the substance to several University of Alabama football players (one of whom appeared in an infomercial) who have seen no retribution whatsoever. While the Crimson Tide retains the three national championships collected over the past four seasons, the NCAA vacated over 100 of Joe Paterno’s wins over at Penn State because some other white guy butt plundered a bunch of little boys. Meanwhile, Lance Armstrong remains in the pillory even though recent confessions by Michael Rasmussen and Thomas Dekker do nothing but solidify Mr. Livestrong’s contention that cyclists were, in fact, competing on a level playing field (i.e. they were all doping). So the message is clear as yet another PED scandal bears down on Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez: drop that Dominican accent and get yourself a P-Diddy makeover. And fast.
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